Hope in the future

 

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Healing in what you Love

My love of writing helped me heal from childhood sexual abuse. It has had a positive and beneficial influence on my life. It gave me a voice when I didn’t think I had the right to have one. Helped me articulate my feelings, and the courage to openly talk about difficult topics. When I faced the darkest times in my life, it was a source of support and comfort. I found healing in what I love.   What does it mean to find healing in what you love? It simply means spending time engaging in hobbies, pursuits and interests that bring you a sense of peace, fulfilment and hope. Something […]

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Learning From Experience

There is nothing more powerful than learning from experience. Not only does it provide a unique insight into a particular issue or problem. It can equip people to better support those who are facing similar issues. I developed a bespoke workshop that I delivered and facilitated to social work practitioners and professionals. The ‘supporting young people through familial abuse’ was aimed at helping professionals to support young people that had been through familial sexual abuse. I gave a unique insight into some of the challenges a young person may face in such circumstances by sharing my experience. It was a really good session and through a mixture of activities, information […]

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DENIAL

In this monthly blog post, CSA Advocate Niki Fayase shares her thoughts on denial and its devastating effects in regards to the difficult and complex issue of childhood sexual abuse. Denial is a subject that does not seem to be openly addressed in CSA. (Child Sexual Abuse). Yet the impact and fall out of denial on survivors are huge. Studies show that children need to feel that they are believed to heal. They need to be told that this is not their fault. That they are not responsible for the abuser’s actions so they are not left with feelings of guilt, shame and worthlessness. (Helping your sexual abused child cope, […]

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FLOURISH

Daughter Arise is eight years old! It is an amazing achievement to have reached our eighth year and I am proud. It has been challenging at times, especially in the early years, as this organisation was birthed from the pain of my past trauma, but to see how it has flourished has been amazing. All that I have achieved has come at a great personal cost but it has been worth it to see all the lives that Daughter Arise has touched. As Founder and Leader of this organisation, I understand the work that I do in supporting survivors to navigate through a challenging time in their life is important. […]

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LONELINESS AND ISOLATION

I have found going through the journey of childhood sexual abuse a very lonely and isolating experience. I first recognized this at nine years old when the abuse first started. I remember feeling quite different and odd. I felt something was wrong with me. I had no one to talk to and thought I was the cause of my abuse. My Dad told me if I ever told anyone what he was doing I would become deaf and dumb. This caused me to further isolate myself especially when I was around my siblings. I managed to speak out at thirteen years old when Childline came to my secondary school. I […]

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THE POWER OF ME TOO

Recently I hosted an event in California to empower survivor’s sexual abuse. The theme of the event originated from the ‘Me Too’ movement that has gained huge attention in America because it has given survivors of all abuse a collective platform to speak out. Organising the Empower awareness event was logistically a huge task for me to accomplish. I live in London, and the time difference and not knowing anyone in California presented huge challenges, but my motivation to deliver this event kept me focused and I delivered. Daughter Arise was able to partner with other organisations in California. Project Sister works tirelessly to empower children by giving them a […]

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A Voice for the Voiceless

Recently I stood before full council elected members at Lambeth council to give a deputation to raise awareness of the challenges faced by adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. As a constituent of this borough, a survivor that has successfully overcome many challenges in the aftermath of sexual abuse, and Founder and Leader of Daughter Arise, I decided to put myself forward to be a voice for the voiceless on this issue. The journey to giving a deputation (a process where an appointed person speaks/acts on behalf of others on a specific issue) took nine months. Besides various meetings and email exchanges with council officers, I had to write a […]

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CHOOSE LIFE!

My new book Choose life was released yesterday and I am so excited to reveal it. Choose life is an awareness and empowerment practical self-help workbook for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. I wrote this book for a number of reasons.   During my journey to healing from sexual abuse, I only came across a handful of self-help books on this topic, and only a couple of books that had been actually written by a survivor. I was inspired to write this book because, during the countless conversations I have had over the last 20 years talking with friends, peers and colleagues that had been sexually abused, and specifically over […]

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CHRISTMAS ~ 3 TIPS FOR THE FESTIVE SEASON

I always use to find the Christmas period quite challenging. It stemmed back from my childhood. As a child pre-abuse I loved Christmas but once the abuse started I found it daunting because it meant spending more time at home because of the school holidays. As time has gone on I have learned over the years to manage Christmas in my own way and have found a love for it again through knowing Jesus Christ as my Lord and creating new memories with my own little family. This time of year can prove difficult for many survivors and it is important that you look after yourself; self-care and preservation are […]

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CONVERSATION BREAKS DOWN PERCEPTION

Earlier this week I had the pleasure of being invited as a guest on Starr radio show ‘black women talking’. Roz, the presenter of the show was most welcoming and we talked for over an hour about my experience of sexual abuse, my journey to healing from the trauma and some of the challenges faced by survivors in the black community. Roz has been championing the cause for many years in raising awareness of sexual abuse and its impact on mental health. She is planning on becoming an M.P to bring in changes that will empower and protect future generations of children. It has been refreshing and encouraging to talk with […]

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