This is a very special month for me. February 2016 marked a turn in my life, a decision I decided to make to commit my time, energy and thoughts to sharing my knowledge with the world. I did not think in this particular area I could consistently produce what was required to enrich and empower lives, but here I am a year later as an official blogger after launching my ‘Hope for the Future’ blog.
Originally, I first attempted blogging back in January 2014. It was just after the launch of my newly built website for Daughter Arise the organisation and three months after the first Daughter Arise afternoon tea awareness event. I was full of enthusiasm and zest to let the world know of the event success but soon after doing that post I lost momentum. I reflect back on that time now and see that there were two issues that hindered my productivity to write; confidence in my abilities as a writer and trying to figure out where this new path of purpose was taking me as a visionary. Because of this issue and anxiety that I placed on myself, I stopped blogging and concluded that it was not going to work. I made this decision based from my fear and insecurity; from a mind-set still straddled between past mistakes and undiscovered potential. This episode in my life coincided with a wilderness place situation I was experiencing, meaning a time in my life where I was stagnant. I have a home office that I decorated and prepared to provide me with the mental and physical workspace needed to develop my potential and produce creativity, but during this time where I was feeling disorientated with my purpose and future, my desk became a dumping ground for hair products and clothes hangers! Dust became acquainted with my desk and office furniture as I did not regularly go in there, and the only time I went in there was to open and close the curtains! This went on for a period of months, that was until God in a way only he could do, found a way to rouse my interest again in taking back up writing and blogging, and more importantly gave me the confidence and encouragement to help me believe in the wonderful empowering gifts he has given me.
It all happened one day when I received a notification in my email to say someone had left a comment on one of my old blogs. The comment was from a lady who said she was really encouraged by blog and my story. I saw this lady was from another country and had posted the comment from an organisation website. When I checked it out, her website dealt with giving information resources to sexual abuse survivors and she featured my blog on there. She also recommended people visit my blog and website as it is very good. Seeing her comments, as a fellow survivor really encouraged me and gave me the boost and confirmation I needed to start blogging again. I only wrote one blog post in 2014 and 2015, but ever since those words of encouragement and appreciation of my journey came my way, I have blogged every month without fail since February 2016 when I launched the ‘Hope for the Future’. This is a huge deal for me to commit to something and see it through regardless of how I feel. It is a huge breakthrough mentally and I have taken and applied what I have learned from this lesson in consistency and perseverance to other areas of my life.
What inspired me to start ‘Hope for the Future’ was a passion to share my journey, the things I have learned and realised in my life past abuse. I have lived a very complex life due to childhood sexual abuse and the issues, challenges and victories, however great or small I believe need to be shared or celebrated. I wanted to show others that there is hope on the other side of abuse, a place that feels when you are in it devoid of hope and total desolation. I am motivated to help all survivors who have not found hope, who are struggling to find their feet and voice in the aftermath of abuse. I want to show a picture to those who have yet to imagine or believe that you can live an empowered life in the aftermath, a life they can have a part in forging towards their future. I am inspired by the courage and confidence I am finding on my journey to healing as things I never thought I could or would do, I have accomplished. All the new things I am discovering about myself whilst spreading my wings in the confidence of God flying free of my fears and limitations; inspiration is all around and the possibilities are endless.
My ‘A-ha’ moment came when I realised that it was my fears that blocked my view to believe and go forward to achieve. The gift of writing, blogging and creating draws upon my ability to rise to the challenge of addressing issues on and surrounding a taboo subject that even with progress is still viewed in some communities as a ‘leper’ subject, in an innovative way. By doing this blog I use it as an instrument to give voice to the challenges faced in the aftermath of abuse and as a voice to survivors. I hope to give comfort, encouragement and hope to the many out there who feel they are alone in their difficulties. There has been no hard posts per-se but in all honesty as they have been formed from my experiences they draw from a place deep within me. The by product from where it is produced stems out of vulnerability and transparency, but I trust God to protect and help me find the balance between giving sincere heartfelt content and self preservation. I have an excellent mentor that helps me find the key to using all aspects of my life in a positive and productive way whilst helping me find my own healing; all things work together for the common good.
I know not many people comment on my blogs but I am confident my posts are being read. I hope as readers you can feel the sincere heart from which it has been written and take something away from it. I plan to celebrate my success by treating myself to a very special present that will give scope to my vision, give me a new skill and help others. I will reveal all soon! I am happy that all my talents and gifts are empowering and enriching other people’s lives and I am proud to be blogging!
Happy 1st Birthday Hope in The Future!